Saturday, June 1, 2013

March 3, 2013

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Dear Baby Brody,

The love a mother feels for her child cannot be defined, planned for, expressed in words, or understood by someone who hasn't experienced it.  I am completely overwhelmed by love for you.  Not having you here with me is very difficult, because I think about you and miss you every moment of every day.

In the hospital someone was changing your clothes and you didn't like it.  You were crying and it sounded so sad and pitiful.  I hated seeing you so upset.  I gave you my fingers, and you grabbed them with your tiny little hands.  I rubbed your face with my thumbs and talked to you to try and comfort you.  It calmed you down.  In ways, it breaks my heart that that will be the only time I get to comfort you and make you feel better.  I will always cherish and remember that moment.  It's hard knowing I won't be the one you run to when you are scared, hurt, happy, excited, or anything else.  It's hard knowing I won't get to teach you all about life or be there for all of your firsts.  It is absolutely one of the hardest things a person can have to do.  However, I know you will be comforted when you are hurt and taught so many wonderful things.  I know I am being obedient to God, and I know I can trust your new parents with you.  So many children don't have the things you do-the love and support and the Godly teaching and the loving families.  As hard as it is to be without you, I have peace knowing you are taken care of and loved so much!  I am so thankful for that.

I am also thankful for what having you has taught me.  The love I have for you cannot compare to the love God has for us.  The love I have for you does, however, exceed the love I have ever felt for anyone else.  It's so intense and so strong and so amazing.  It cannot be broken.  There is literally not a thing you could do to make me stop loving you.  Understanding this kind of unconditional love helps me to better understand how much God loves and cherishes me.  That is a huge gift-so I thank you for that.

I am so in awe of you!  I still can't believe I made you!  It's such an incredible feeling!  And I have to say, you're pretty cute!  I'm so glad I made a good-looking baby! :)  It's just a life-changing experience to bring life into this world!  You have no idea how special you are to me, and how because of you I will be changed for the better forever!  You are precious, and I love and adore you!

Love,

Your birth-mother, Kadie

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