I am an employee at ESS. I am a sister. I am a sister-in-law. I am a daughter. I am a friend. I am a child of the King. I am a writer. I am a dancer. Every person has several roles they take on in life that are a part of who they are. They are not defined purely by one of those roles, but by a combination of each of them. And even outside of who you are to others, you are an individual, with your own dreams and desires; likes and dislikes.
I think one of the most destructive things we can do as birthmothers is to see ourselves as nothing more than that. The shame, the guilt, the regret-all of that becomes the catalyst behind every thought and decision made. It can lead to destructive behaviors.
We don't have to let our mistakes, our past, or even one single role define us. Embrace what you have done for your child-the selfless, loving act. Don't be ashamed of it. But don't let it be the only way you see yourself either. You don't have to give up on your dreams or yourself.
Being a birth-mother is a part of who you are; an important part. But it's not ALL of who you are. Don't lose sight of all of who are! Embrace it!