Saturday, June 15, 2013

Coping With Not Being the Best Thing for Your Child

I recently posted the 5 hardest parts of dealing with this situation.  Here's number one:

1. Not being the best thing for my child.

There is nothing in this world that feels worse than knowing that you can't provide the basic needs every child deserves for your own flesh and blood.  It's absolutely heart-breaking.  This is especially hard since this wasn't a teen pregnancy, but rather I was 24 when I had Brody.  Why was I not at a place where I could take care of a child?  Why was I at a place where I couldn't even provide for myself?  This was a huge wake up call.

How I'm coping with it:

Instead of feeling sorry for myself, and moping, and continuing this pattern of getting nowhere in life, I allowed this to be my motivation.  I intend to never get pregnant outside of marriage again, but if for some crazy reason it did happen, I wouldn't have to give another child away.  I job searched like crazy-it was my full-time job to find a full-time job.  And thankfully, I did!  And it's one I thoroughly enjoy!  I love going to work everyday!

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I am also working on getting into shape.  I want to look and feel better.  I want to be a good example for Brody.  I may not see him everyday, but I will still be a part of his life.  

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I want Brody to be able to be proud of me one day.  I want to earn his respect.  I want him to know that he encouraged me to be a better person, just by existing.  

There are several other ways I want to improve myself and my life, but the point is life is hard.  You have to use the tough stuff to make you stronger.  Don't stay defeated.  Let your mistakes have a purpose.  I know it is easier said than done, but it's definitely possible!  You can do it!  

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