2. Knowing SOMEONE ELSE would bring joy, happiness, comfort, and peace to my child.
Seeing a smile on Brody's face that I didn't put there, or knowing that his security is coming from someone else, that was hard. I want to be the one to provide all of those things for him. I want to be the one he trusts more than anyone. I wanted all of those things. Nobody could teach him or love him like could-or so that's how you feel.
Coping With This:
First of all, you have to accept it. Second of all, be happy for your child. I am so glad that Brody IS LOVED! I wouldn't want him with a family that didn't want to make him laugh or be his comfort. Think of the alternative, and it makes it easier to deal with. But thirdly, realize that ultimately you did do these things for him. The family that Brody is with is a family that I hand-picked for him. I made sure they would be perfect for him. I allowed them to take him and raise him. I wanted to ensure he'd have a happy life, so I provided him with a family that would give him that. It's not as directly as I would like it to be, but I still had a part in providing these things for him. You just have to realize that, and remind yourself of that when it gets hard.