Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Now It's Real

I thought I was finally over that phase-where smells made me want to throw up.  But no-my leftover pizza was making me sick.  I just left it at work and headed home.  Just 2 more days and they would induce me.  Finally.  After having dinner with a friend I had to go home because I was hurting so much.  Brody was a bit of a tease.  I had Braxton-Hicks contractions almost every night for about a month before I actually went into labor.  A hot bath would relax the pain, and then I could sleep it off. 

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The bath didn't help...I was having trouble sleeping-and then the pain was bad enough that I couldn't sleep through it.  I woke my mom up and we went to the hospital.  This time, it was the real thing.  I was in labor.

21 hours later he was finally here!!  I finally got to see him and hold him!  He was 7 1/2 pounds of pure perfection!  I've never been in love like that.  He was such a good baby-barely cried, and even when he did, it was little.  He didn't scream and fuss all the time.  He loved to sleep.  It was so funny, he sucked in his bottom lip all the time.  He was brand new, and he already had so much personality.  I was on cloud nine.  I hadn't slept in 2 days but I wasn't tired.  I just wanted to hold him and look at him.  I could spend the rest of my life doing that and be perfectly happy.  But I couldn't.

Friday morning-my final hours with my sweet baby.  Soon his new family would be there and I'd have to go home without him.  They came and it was so great seeing them with him.  Everyone in that room was in love with that sweet baby.  It was bittersweet.  Then it was time to say our goodbyes, and we left the hospital.

My heart was shattered.  It was the first time in almost a year I was without him.  All I felt was the overwhelming weight of emptiness.  Sadness.  Brokenness.  It felt like it would never end; if I survived it.  

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